A Reiki Perspective on Being with Difficult Emotions

I thought I'd bring up something that we all experience but rarely get comfortable discussing: those big, messy, difficult emotions that show up uninvited and seem to take up residence in our hearts and bodies.

You know the ones I'm talking about. The grief that sits heavy in your chest. The anxiety that buzzes through your nervous system like an unwelcome visitor. The anger that feels too big for your body. The sadness that seems to have no beginning or end.

You may already know my story, that I found my way to Reiki because I desperately needed to re-learn how to listen to what my body was telling me. The knots in my shoulders, neck, and joints were screaming for attention, but I'd become so disconnected that I barely noticed. I was stuck in this exhausting cycle—either spinning through my emotions over and over like a broken record, or swallowing them whole and shutting down completely, unable to function.

I'll share what I've learned from a Reiki perspective in my years as a practitioner and fellow human navigating this wild ride. TLDR: Our difficult emotions aren't problems to be solved; they're messengers asking to be heard.

What Does It Mean to Be Present with Emotions?

Being present with difficult emotions doesn't mean liking them or inviting them to stay forever. (Thank everything holy.) It means we stop running, stop numbing, stop trying to think our way out of what we're feeling. Instead, we turn toward what's happening in our inner landscape with the same gentle curiosity we might offer a dear friend, or a beloved animal companion. “I hear you’re feeling fear. I get it. It’s a scary time.”

When I'm working with clients—whether they're two-legged or four-legged—I often notice how much energy gets tied up. The four-legged beings appear a bit better at acceptance than we are and in general at getting their needs met. We humans might dismiss the need and proceed in actions that oppose the need even further…anyway, where was I? 

There’s no use in trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The more force we use, the more likely it is to pop up and smack us in the face at an inopportune time. I suspect we’ve all been there…crying at work comes to mind.

Photo: NADER AYMAN / Unsplash

A Reiki Perspective on Emotional Energy

There are a lot of different perspectives, maybe as many as Reiki people. (Nod to Emily.) This is my perspective as a practitioner, which many other Reiki folks would likely agree with, but not everyone and certainly won’t be complete or comprehensive in the time of a shortish blog. 

Emotions are energy in motion (e-motion, if you will 😃). When we resist or suppress difficult feelings, we create energetic blockages that can manifest as physical tension, illness, or that general sense of being "stuck."

But here's the beautiful thing about energy: it naturally wants to flow. When we create space for our emotions to move through us—without judgment, without trying to fix or change them—they often transform on their own.

I recall a client who came to see me, carrying what felt like a lifetime of unexpressed grief. During their treatment, as the Reiki energy began to flow, they started crying. Not the single-tear kind of crying, but the deep, body-shaking sobs that come from a place that's been locked away for years.

"I'm sorry," they said between tears. "I don't know why this is happening."

"No need to be sorry. If you can give yourself permission to let it all out, feel free,” I told them as I gently placed a tissue in their palm. "Tears are welcome here."

This taught me to (try to) remember to let folks know that when they get on the table, they might have stuff come up and it’s okay to cry. Or sleep, or snore for that matter.

Practical Ways to Be Present with Difficult Emotions

Start with Your Breath When big emotions arise, our breath often becomes shallow or held. Simply returning to conscious breathing can create enough space to be present with what you're feeling. Try breathing in for four counts, holding for four, then releasing for six. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale—this activates your parasympathetic nervous system and signals safety to your body.

Name What You're Feeling Sometimes emotions feel overwhelming because they're a tangled mess of different feelings all happening at once. Try naming what you're experiencing: "I notice sadness in my chest. I feel anger in my jaw. There's anxiety in my stomach." This simple act of naming can help separate and identify different emotional currents. (And if you’re anything like me, remember that it doesn’t have to be the exact right emotions. It helps a lot to say things like “steel wool in my throat,” “red sharp in my stomach,” etc.)

Feel Into Your Body Emotions live in our bodies, not just our minds. Where do you feel this emotion physically? What does it look like, feel like, sound like? Is it hot or cold? Heavy or light? Moving or stuck? Getting curious about the physical sensations can help you stay present rather than getting caught up in the story your mind wants to tell about why you're feeling this way.

Offer Yourself Compassion This might be the hardest part. I still sometimes feel hot tears welling up when I do this, even though I’ve made a tons of progress. We can be merciless judges when it comes to ourselves, especially when we're struggling emotionally. There’s no point in feeling bad about feeling bad. It’s bad enough just to feel bad! 

You’re welcome to try placing a hand on your heart and speaking to yourself the way you would to a beloved friend: "This is really hard right now. It makes sense that you're feeling this way. You're not alone."

When Emotions Feel Too Big

Sometimes, despite our best intentions, emotions can feel genuinely overwhelming. This is especially true for those of us who have experienced trauma or are carrying grief. Please know that seeking professional support—whether from a therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional—is an act of self-love, not weakness.

Reiki can be a beautiful complement to professional medical care and other forms of healing, but it's not a substitute for professional mental health care when that's what's needed.

The Gift of Feeling Deeply

I want to leave you with this: your capacity to feel deeply—even when it's painful—is not a flaw. It's evidence of your aliveness, your humanity, your incredible ability to love and be loved.

In a world that often asks us to be "fine" all the time, choosing to be present with our difficult emotions is a radical act. It's a way of honoring the full spectrum of human experience and trusting that we're strong enough to feel whatever needs to be felt. It takes into account that we are all connected through the breadth and depth of that common experience. There’s no shame we need to take on when we find out that we’re just as imperfect as any other human!  

The next time a difficult emotion knocks on your door, maybe—just maybe—you can greet it not as an enemy to be defeated, but as a teacher who has something important to share. And remember, you don't have to do this alone. Whether it's through Reiki, therapy, trusted friends, chosen family, or your own spiritual practice, support is available.

Your healing matters. And you're stronger than you know. <3

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If you're interested in exploring how Reiki might support you in working with difficult emotions, I'd love to connect. You can learn more about my offerings at reikifortoday.com. If what you're going through is related to animal companion/pet loss, consider consulting with and animal chaplain at findanimalchaplain.com.