The Best Reiki Practitioners Don’t Have Perfect Lives

Choosing a Healer Who Gets It

Photo: Vanessa Owen & Gavin Stewart

You know what nobody tells you when you're looking for a reiki healer? The best ones usually don't have it all figured out.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying they are huge messes. It would be hard to start and operate a reiki practice in that case.

They're human. They're still learning. They're navigating life while also holding space for others. But what they do have is devotion to their own healing and a call to serve others. They have the ability to put aside their egos so that the power of reiki can come through unencumbered so that real healing can happen. And that's actually what makes them good at what they do.

I'm writing this from the Asheville treatment space I share with two other practitioners: Matt Shepard of Deep Knowing Wellness and Luca of Holy Honey Reiki. Matt also does tarot readings! We're all Ashevillians out here doing life—dealing with rising costs, relationship stuff, the emotional aftermath of Hurricane Helene, personal losses and wins and everything in between.

We all acknowledge the privilege we have in being able to offer Reiki. And we're also out here trying to make it all work, just like everyone else. There's something special about practitioners who aren't pretending to have transcended the human experience. We're in it with you.

What Makes a Reiki Healer Actually Effective?

Here's the thing the wellness industry doesn't want you to know: the best reiki practitioners aren't the ones who claim they've "healed all their trauma" or "vibrate at a higher frequency."

The effective ones have done enough work that they can hold space for yours without making it about them. They can sit with your discomfort without trying to fix it or spiritual-bypass it away. They're offering you presence, not a perfect life. Most importantly, they see you as a fully capable being and they are able to witness your strength even if you can't see it for yourself in that moment. And they trust that your inner wisdom will guide the reiki during your treatment as they channel it. (I like to call it a collaboration!)

I've been practicing reiki for nearly a decade now. I am not healed. What is that, anyway? I am healing. Anyone who tells you they're "fully healed" is either lying or dangerously unaware of how healing works. Healing isn't a destination. It's a daily, lifelong practice. The practitioners who understand this are the ones who can actually help you.

The Wounded Healer vs. The Guru

There's this concept in therapeutic circles called the "wounded healer"—someone whose own wounds inform their capacity to heal others. Having been through pain helps to map and guide you in helping others navigate theirs.

But here's where it gets tricky: there's a huge difference between a wounded healer and someone who's weaponizing their wounds or using clients to process unresolved trauma.

A good wounded healer has done enough work that they're not bleeding all over their clients. They've learned to tend their wounds while keeping appropriate boundaries. They know when to seek their own support, and they do! Regularly.

A guru, on the other hand, needs you to believe they've transcended suffering. They position themselves as spiritually superior. They have all the answers. They never struggle.

Run from that. Fast.

The best energy healing practitioners I know—including the folks I share space with—are the ones who'll tell you honestly when they're having a hard week. Not to trauma-dump on you, but to model that it's okay to be human while also showing up for others.

Red Flags When Finding a Reiki Practitioner

Let me save you some time and money. Here are the warning signs that a reiki healer might be more about their ego than your healing. And keep in mind that these red flags are actually in opposition to the 5 Principles that reiki practitioners practice daily.

They claim special powers or promise quick fixes. Energy work isn't magic. If someone's positioning themselves as uniquely gifted or guaranteeing results ("three sessions and your anxiety is gone!"), that's ego or exploitation, not healing.

They discourage medical care or therapy. Reiki is complementary, not a replacement. Good practitioners encourage you to have a full support team, and they don't try to talk you out of other care models you seek.

They center their own journey. Your session should be about you, not a TED talk about the spiritual awakening they had on their ayahuasca retreat.

They use spiritual language to bypass accountability. "Everything happens for a reason" when you express concern about something, even worse about something they did. That's spiritual bypassing and it's manipulative.

They don't have boundaries. Late-night texts, wanting to be your best friend, oversharing personal information—these are red flags. Good practitioners maintain clear, professional boundaries.

They pressure you into commitments. Pushing package deals, long-term contracts, or making you feel guilty for not booking more sessions.

Green Flags in Energy Healing Practitioners

So what should you look for when you're trying to find the best reiki for your needs?

They acknowledge their limits and refer out when needed. They'll tell you what reiki can and can't do. They don't pretend to fix everything.

They have their own support system. Good practitioners are in supervision, therapy, or peer consultation. They're not using you to process their stuff.

They're transparent about pricing. They explain their rates and might offer a sliding scale. And they likely acknowledge the impossibility of pricing healing work under capitalism while still trying to be fair.

Their values are clear. You can tell from their presence what they stand for. If you're marginalized, you can tell whether they've thought about creating safe space for you.

They welcome questions and respect your autonomy. You can ask about their training and approach. They make suggestions but don't pressure you. They check in about comfort and consent.

How I Approach Reiki Healing (Besides Imperfectly)

I want to be transparent about my own practice because I think it matters.

I've been doing reiki since 2016, facilitating grief groups for survivors of suicide loss since before that. I finished my 2 year interfaith/interspiritual seminary training in 2021, and my animal chaplaincy certification in 2023. Next month, I graduate from spiritual guidance training as a spiritual director/companion.

And I'm still learning every single day. I would not change that for any reason.

Some days I show up to sessions already feeling grounded and clear. Other days I show up having a morning of ugly-crying because the world is overwhelming, so I need to take a little extra time and space to ground and center myself before you arrive. Both versions of me can hold space for you because I've learned to work with whatever energy I'm carrying rather than pretending it doesn't exist.

I'm also a survivor of suicide loss. My father died by suicide fourteen years ago. I share this not for sympathy but because it highly informs how I work. I know what it's like to carry impossible grief, and that lived experience makes me better at my job—not because I'm "healed" from it, but because I'm actively in relationship with it.

The "Best Reiki" Isn't About Perfection—It's About Presence

If you're searching for "the best reiki practitioner," I want to shift what you're looking for.

You're not trying to find someone perfect. You're trying to find someone present—someone who can sit with the full range of human experience without needing to fix it, transcend it, or spiritual-bypass it away.

Someone who's done enough work that they can hold space for yours without making it about them.

Someone whose values align with yours so you can actually relax. Someone who sees you as a whole person, not a project to fix.

The best reiki healer for you might not be the one with the most certifications or the biggest following. It might be the one who answered your email with honest warmth, or whose bio made you feel seen.

Trust that knowing. Your nervous system is smarter than any online review.

What to Do Next

If you're looking for a reiki practitioner in the Asheville area, you've got options!

Matt at Deep Knowing Wellness brings a grounded, intuitive approach to his reiki sessions and tarot readings. I've had reiki with Matt, and I was astounded at his insights.

Luca at Holy Honey Reiki offers trauma-informed energy work with presence and reverence.

The three of us are justice-oriented and bring gentle presence to our work. I'm grateful for the energy Matt and Luca bring into this space. Though we are not a group practice and we each have our own styles and approaches, our values and energy are in alignment. I truly couldn't ask for better colleagues in 301-B!

And if what I've shared here resonates—the integration of grief work and animal healing as a focus, the avoidance of spiritual bypass, care around daily shifts and transition—you can learn more at reikifortoday.com. I work with folks locally and remotely, offering an equity discount for marginalized folks because healing should be accessible.

You can book a session through my website, or reach out with questions first.

The Bottom Line on Finding the Best Reiki Healer

The best reiki practitioners aren't the ones who've transcended their humanity. They're the ones who've learned to work with it, honor it, and hold space for yours.

They're out here doing life like everyone else—dealing with challenges, acknowledging privilege, trying to show up with integrity even when it's hard.

And there's something beautiful about that. About practitioners who aren't performing perfection but offering genuine presence. Who understand that healing isn't about fixing yourself into some ideal version, but about learning to be with what is as life is life-ing.

That's the kind of healing that actually works.

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Ready to explore reiki with a practitioner who gets it? Book a session or learn more about my approach to healing work.