Listening to Grief: Where Our Losses Point Us Toward Healing

(Part 2 of 2)

In Part 1, we looked at how grief—both personal and collective—carries sacred information about what we're losing and what matters most. We looked at how our culture struggles to hold space for even tangible losses, let alone the perceived, energetic, and collective grief we're all carrying. We named the grief of late-stage capitalism and how the system that creates our grief also denies us time to feel it.

Now, the question becomes: what (tf) do we do with all of this?

Photo by Wes Hicks / Unsplash

So what do we do with all this grief? What do we do when our losses—real and perceived—feel overwhelming and our culture offers us no containers to hold them?

Grief Shows Us Where to Focus Our Healing

We start by honoring grief as the teacher it is. Not something to transcend or "get over," but something to sit with and learn from. Our grief, especially our collective grief, is showing us exactly what matters most.

If you're grieving the loss of community connection, that grief might be pointing you toward the sacred work of rebuilding community. If you're mourning environmental destruction, that ache in your heart is likely calling you to focus healing energy on (y)our relationship with the earth. If you're carrying the weight of systemic injustice, that grief may be asking you to channel your energy toward liberation work.

Grief is prophetic. It tells us what we love. It reveals what we value, and sometimes it can feel like new information. It shows us where we're called to act or honor.

A Different Kind of Grief Work

In my work with Reiki and energy healing, I've learned that the body doesn't differentiate between "real" and "perceived" losses. Your nervous system responds to the loss of safety just as strongly as it responds to a tangible death. Your heart breaks over what could have been just as much as what was.

This isn't weakness. It's information.

When we allow ourselves to feel the full weight of our grief—personal and collective—we're actually accessing deep wisdom about what needs healing, both in ourselves and in our world. The grief for what we're losing environmentally tells us we're meant to be in sacred relationship with the earth. The grief for community breakdown tells us we're wired for connection. The grief for injustice tells us we know, in our bones, that things could be different.

It's no wonder that my work began with Reiki, while healing from my own mourning of my father's death, and now I work with others who are in transition. Grief is often a part of transition. It is right there between who we have been and who we are becoming.

For those who know, folks grieving after suicide loss often feel caught between worlds, or trying to put back together a worldview that no longer fits their reality. There's room for all of this, if we are able to invite and allow. As Denise Levertov wrote in her poem, Talking to Grief, we may see grief as a stray dog who yearns to be let inside and given their own warm place near us. (Pro tip: instead of "stray," which is disempowering, we might rather say, "free-roaming," "transient," or “independent.")

The work isn't to make the grief go away. The work is to listen to what it's telling us and let it guide our energy toward healing—both for ourselves and for the world.

Creating Space for Grief to Speak

Here are some ways to begin working with grief as prophecy:

Name what you're grieving. Write it down. Say it out loud. Include the perceived losses—the loss of how you thought life would be, the loss of innocence, the loss of rest. These are real.

Feel it in your body. Where does grief live in you? Your chest? Your throat? Your belly? Place your hands there with gentleness. Breathe. You don't have to fix it. Just acknowledge it's there.

Ask what it's teaching you. Grief about environmental destruction might be teaching you about your deep connection to the earth. Grief about overwork might be teaching you that rest is sacred. What is your grief revealing about your values?

Let it point you somewhere. Grief isn't meant to paralyze us—it's meant to mobilize us toward what needs tending. Where is your grief calling you to act? To connect? To create? To resist?

Find others who understand. Collective grief needs collective holding. Whether it's a support group, a community gathering, or a trusted friend who gets it—don't carry this alone.

Moving Forward

So I invite you to consider, what are you grieving right now? Not just the obvious losses, but the perceived ones, too. The loss of how you thought things would be. The loss of innocence or certainty. The collective losses we're all carrying together.

What is that grief trying to tell you?

Where is it pointing your healing energy?

Because grief, when we honor it, forges a map. It shows us where love lives. It reveals what we're here to protect and what we're called to heal. That certainly has been the case for me.

And maybe, just maybe, if we start listening to our grief as sacred information instead of trying to rush through it or throwing up our hands saying, "I don't have time for this," we'll find ourselves exactly where we need to be. Doing the work that the world needs most.

The losses are real. And the wisdom grief carries might just be the compass we need for these times.

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If you're carrying heavy grief, whether from personal loss or collective mourning, you don't have to hold it alone. Reiki can help create space for grief to move through your body without overwhelming you. Visit reikifortoday.com to learn more about grief support, including my Befriend Your Grief program for survivors of suicide loss. Whatever you are sitting with, may you be held in gentleness. And may we all. <3